Dancing On My Own
by little-borgia
Summary: I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
1. Delphine

It was her choice. She knew it was the hardest choice she had ever made, but she thought she made the right one. She knew it was the end of them when Rachel sent her to Germany. And she wasn't a saint. She had lovers in Germany. So why was it bothering her so much that Cosima had moved on?

She couldn't deny that Shay was a beautiful woman. Even Delphine got a bit hypnotized by those eyes, such a flat blue that they looked grey. The eyes were one of the only physical differences between the two women. Delphine let out an angry laugh, realizing that Cosima had a type.

Delphine crossed her legs, glancing around her empty office. Her foot shook in frustration, the motion reminding her of a rattlesnake. Ironic, she thought. She tried to convince herself that she was a rattlesnake. That her protectiveness over Cosima would turn her into a viper. But it wasn't. She didn't feel like a viper, she felt like a fraud.

She had dug as deep as she could until she found enough in Shay's background to give Cosima reason to doubt her. It was simple enough. All the clones had no choice but to be on high alert. And, as much as she hated it, she had done the reverse herself. Leaving breadcrumbs to get close to Cosima. She had taken the job, but it wasn't as if she wouldn't have tried those same tricks to get close to her. She felt it the minute she laid eyes on Cosima.

Shay had caused nothing but problems. She was stealing the love of her life, understandably. But Delphine wasn't equipped to handle this love triangle interfering with their work. And Delphine was so blindly jealous that she had gotten rid of Cosima and Scott, a move she regretted even as the words were falling from her lips.

She hadn't even realized how bad it had gotten until Cosima's call. Was Delphine really on the verge of making Shay's murder look like a suicide? She didn't know anymore if it was to protect the clones or to keep Cosima to herself. She placed one finger on each of her temples, trying to rub away the aching feeling she felt.

"Dr Cormier?" The security guard said softly, startling her. She cleared her throat, giving him her attention. "You were right."

"Keep me updated," she said, blinking rapidly to stop the tears that were building.

"She didn't stay long. Seems she was unwanted."

"Miss Davydov-"

"Rejected Miss Niehaus." The man nodded.

"Thank you," she whispered, standing and reaching for her keys. Rebound or not, Delphine was not going to let Cosima's heart be broken. Not again. She couldn't change what had happened between them, but she could try her best to make it all up to Cosima.


	2. Cosima

"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Cosima started, sitting on the couch next to Shay. She crossed her legs under her, sipping the glass of wine.

Shay had called her in a panic, hyperventilating over the phone. Cosima rushed over, already knowing it was about Delphine.

Cosima wasn't a violent person and wasn't a jealous person. She always wondered if that was the reason she was always left alone. She didn't have that possessiveness other girls had. Even her sisters, she had come to realize, had that quality. Sarah wouldn't let someone slip through her fingers. She was sexy and determined and undeniable. Allison refused to take no for an answer. She was persuasive and unstoppable. And Helena was a loose cannon. She didn't know what Helena would do if faced with rejection. And yet Cosima, made from the same genetic sequence, was unable to convince anyone that she was worth loving. But Delphine wasn't just anyone.

That's why secretly, Cosima loved hearing every terrifying detail of what happened. Shay was shaking, explaining that Delphine ordered her to remove her shoes. That Delphine interrogated her.

She imagined that dangerous flicker in Delphine's eyes. Delphine had the same expression before she devoured Cosima, pinning her to whatever surface she could find and letting her hands and her lips ravage her.

"Didn't mean it? She didn't leave an angry Yelp review, she threatened to kill me!"

"I know, baby. I didn't mean it like that… She gets low blood sugar…"

"It wasn't a Snickers ad," Shay snapped. The comment made Cosima smile, but she shook her head, shaking the amusement away.

"She's been so stressed about work…"

"She's been stressed that I'm fucking you!" Shay raised her voice. "What do you not understand?"

"Don't give her that kind of power," Cosima said, unsure what her reaction was supposed to be. "I'm here now, baby."

Cosima leaned across the couch, her arms steadying her as she kissed Shay sweetly, leaning away before kissing her again. Shay reciprocated, cupping her face and kissing her as she lowered herself until she was laying across the couch, giving Cosima access.

Cosima kissed Shay's neck. Shay remained silent, making Cosima miss the way Delphine moaned softly. Delphine had always been so polished and put together that each moan felt like a victory, like a secret message just for Cosima. The reminder of Delphine aroused Cosima and she continued, imagining Delphine as she touched Shay. She let one hand slip into Shay's hair, purposely avoiding Shay's bangs and focusing on the long, blond strands that were somewhat similar to Delphine's.

She lowered her head, sucking on Shay's nipples, her tight grip pulling the hardened buds from her breasts.

"Easy," Shay whispered. Cosima sighed, her hand running against her thigh. Delphine never rejected her. Their relationship had been the opposite of her and Shay. Delphine could keep up with her in the lab and often pushed her to stay on top of her game. Delphine was her best friend, sharing secrets and enjoying each other's company. And of course, Delphine was French and insatiable. Cosima never knew if Delphine was already in the mood or going along with it and honestly, she didn't care. They had sex multiple times a night. It never mattered who initiated it. The two were a perfect match and every night was spent exhausting one another and waking in the middle of the night to go again.

Shay, on the other hand was more laid back to the untrained eye. She was a free spirit and bohemian heart. However, she required a solid sleep and they only had sex once or twice a week, an amount that left Cosima starved for physical contact.

"I should sleep," Shay whispered, sliding out from Cosima's grip. She swayed away, but stopped at the bathroom.

"What is it?" Cosima called, following her. She found Shay, staring down at the razor blade Delphine had left on the bathroom floor.

Cosima bent down, grabbing it. "There. It's gone," She smiled although she knew it wasn't an easy fix. "Why don't I head out? It's late," She whispered.

"You aren't staying," Shay realized without looking up.

"I need to process what Delphine did," she lied. "I can't believe someone I knew so intimately—"

"Is a psycho?"

"Exactly."

When Cosima left, she drove down the street, stopping at the stoplight and pulling the razor from her pocket. She touched the cold metal, closing her eyes, reminding herself that Delphine's fingers were the last to touch it. She imagined those fingers touching the cold metal. She knew the feel of Delphine's fingers so well she was certain her body had memorized Delphine's fingerprints.

Delphine's ambush on Shay had proved one thing: Cosima wanted her back.


	3. Confrontation

Delphine had just sat down with her tea and a novel when she heard an angry pounding on her door. She knew who it was. All night she had waited, unsure if she was expecting Cosima or hoping for her. She knew if Cosima came they'd fight. And she knew that if they fought they'd have sex. She knew that Cosima knew, too. The question was whether Cosima would give in or resist. Whether she would stay with Shay or come back to her. The knocking on the door answered her question.

"What the hell did you do?" Cosima yelled. She knew t was a mistake to come to Delphine's apartment. She knew the role she had played in Shay's attack. After all, Delphine started and stopped at Cosima's urging.

"Don't. You do not get to come in here and blame me for your decision," Delphine said firmly.

"I didn't tell you to kill her!" Cosima yelled. Delphine shut the apartment door, her brown eyes locked onto Cosima's. "You scared the shit out of her!"

"Good! She scared the shit out of you!" Delphine yelled back. "You were the one to drag her into this, Cosima. I did not tell you to let her in. And I did not tell you to fall in love with her!"

"What was I supposed to do? You left me!" Tears fell down Cosima's cheeks. It struck Delphine deep. Cosima's tears always did. They didn't roll down the trails of her face. Instead, they poured directly down her cheeks. It was symbolic. All Cosima had ever wanted was someone to stay with her; to love her enough to stay and no one ever did. Her tears were no exception, running from her eyes as quick as they could. Delphine knew that although Cosima was used to it, she had hurt her more than anyone else had.

"I did what I needed to do."

"No! You broke my heart over a stupid job!" Cosima yelled, wiping the tears angrily.

"I broke both our hearts," Delphine admitted, her eyes reddening as the tears built. "But I didn't stop loving you. You don't know what it was like, when you were sick."

"I don't know what it was like? That's rich," Cosima snapped.

"You were unconscious, Cherie. I stayed with you every night," Delphine sobbed. "I held you against me and I rocked your lifeless body and begged you to stay with me. I cried to God and asked him to save you. Just save one girl..."

Cosima sobbed, wiping tears. She had never considered how it felt for Delphine to sit so helpless. Cosima had been lucky to be too sick to realize what was happening.

"I had to beg and plead with Rachel to save your life. I had to beg her to stay with you. I was afraid that you would die without me at your side," Delphine cried. "And you're right. I chose this. I decided that I would break my own heart if it meant keeping you alive!" She shouted, her accent thicker the angrier she got.

"There are other ways," Cosima shook her head, refusing to believe it.

"How? Your precious Sarah? You all act like Sarah is your savior. Like she'll protect you all at any cost."

"Don't talk about my sister that way," Cosima warned. "Besides, you love us all the same. Isn't that right?"

"If it was you or Kira, who would she save?" Delphine demanded.

"I'd never ask her to choose."

"Me either. I sacrificed being able to hold you and being able to kiss you and make love to you. I gave up my happiness because I am the only one who would do absolutely anything to keep you healthy and alive, Cosima."

"You broke my heart," Cosima repeated.

"No," Delphine whispered, her voice trembling. "You broke my heart. You've moved on. Not me." Delphine let out a sob, all the tears falling freely. She had held it all in for so long that she hadn't realized how much pain she was holding in. "Go home, Cosima," she managed, her tone trembling as she turned her back to Cosima.

Cosima grabbed her arm, stopping her. "I should have corrected you," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You stopped me to correct me," she chuckled, wiping her eye. "Typical American."

"You insinuated that I loved Shay. I don't."

"Cosima, it doesn't matter..."

"We're both smarter than that." Cosima grabbed the back of Delphine's back, kissing her wildly. She kept Delphine pinned against her, refusing to let her go. Delphine moaned that low, husky moan that Cosima had craved earlier with Shay. "It isn't over between us," Cosima whispered.

"I don't know what to-" Delphine started, but Cosima placed one finger over her mouth.

"Let me take it from here," she whispered, leading Delphine by the hand to the bed. Delphine offered a weak nod, too emotionally drained to resist her.

Cosima unbuttoned the delicate buttons on Delphine's shirt, her hands massaging her flat stomach and small breasts. The simple touch made Delphine arch her back, her long dusty blonde hair splashed over her pillow. She let her hands sink into the cups of Delphine's bra, massaging her breasts as she freed them.

"It drove me insane imagining her hands on you," Delphine admitted, her brown eyes still glassy.

"So imagine my hands," Cosima whispered, pushing two fingers inside Delphine. "My hands are all yours." Cosima continued, pushing her fingers in and out of Delphine, who was already soaked.

"I wanted you to come," Delphine panted.

"And I want you to come," Cosima purred.

"I meant-" Delphine started, not realizing the sexual connotation. Cosima pushed three fingers into her, letting her thumb roll over Delphine's clitoris to stop the words.

"Je suis fou de toi," Delphine panted. Her French had always driven Cosima crazy. She rewarded her, inching down and kissing Delphine's thighs, smiling as the kisses caused her to open her thighs instinctively. Cosima wasted no time, her tongue offering long, slow licks as Delphine's soft moans filled the room.

Cosima let her fingers continue as she licked and sucked, moaning at the familiar sweetness. She felt Delphine's frail body shaking as the orgasm began to build. She knew it was only a matter of time until Delphine gave herself to Cosima completely. Sure enough, moments later Delphine was grabbing Cosima's dreadlocks, holding her against her as she tasted every last drop.

Delphine wasted no time pulling Cosima to her, kissing her passionately. Her tongue ran over Cosima's lower lip before brushing against her tongue, tasting the mixture they created.

"Stay," Delphine begged.

"But you said-"

"I need you tonight," Delphine whispered. Cosima laid next to her, the two naked women curling into one another as Delphine covered them with her quilt.


	4. Nightmares

Cosima never had trouble falling asleep, but tonight her body woke her every time she started to doze off. She knew the real culprit. For the first time in longer than she liked, she was curled against Delphine, their naked bodies tangled up on one another.

She glanced over, smiling at the sleeping creature next to her. She loved Delphine's beautiful curls, but her long, straight hair was even more beautiful under the soft moonlight. The thin sheets revealed the outline of her nipples, reminding Cosima how lucky she was to have one more night sleeping naked next to her love.

"No," Delphine whimpered, causing Cosima to jump. She had never known Delphine to dream, let alone have a nightmare. And Delphine certainly never talked in her sleep. It reminded her of Shay trying to convince Cosima that she spoke in her sleep. She felt a tiny pang of guilt on leaving Shay when she needed her the most. A slightly bigger pang of guilt that she left Shay to screw Delphine, the woman who caused so much damage to her new girlfriend.

"Rachel, don't" Delphine pleaded. Cosima sat up, watching as Delphine's head twitched from one side to the other. "I need to stay with her," she whispered, her voice sounding like a frightened child.

Suddenly, Cosima knew what was plaguing Delphine.

"If she dies without me by her side, it is personal." Delphine's words trembled and her body shook softly. Cosima reached a hand over, stroking Delphine's cheek only to realize her cheeks were damp with tears that were hidden in the night.

Cosima placed a hand on her forehead, trying to force herself to think of a solution. She wanted Delphine to sleep peacefully. Selfishly, she wanted to stop feeling guilty. Delphine had been right earlier when they fought. Cosima was too sick and too weak to realize who suffered the most out of her illness. And she was suddenly realizing just how deeply Rachel had used that to punish Delphine.

"I can't leave her!" Delphine cried, the tiny wasps of hair along her forehead curling due to the sweat.

Cosima hovered over Delphine, letting her body rest over hers. "It's okay, Del. I'm here," Cosima whispered, letting her lips stick to Delphine's cheeks, neck and lips. Delphine sighed, suddenly relaxing. She curled into Cosima, but her tiny body was burning up.

As Delphine fell back into a peaceful sleep, Cosima was covered in sweat. She knew Delphine's dream must have spiked a fever. The best thing for her was to sleep it off. She offered a soft kiss to Delphine's forehead before heading into the bedroom.

She started the shower, letting the hot water roll over her skin. The hot water helped calm her, but her mind raced. What would happen between her and Delphine? Was this just a one night stand? What was happening with her and Shay? Could she really go back to Shay after making love to Delphine all night?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the metal shower rings clanging together as Delphine whipped the shower curtain, her body trembling and her eyes wide. She almost look unrecognizable, more like a wild animal caught in the headlights than a brilliant doctor.

"Del?" She asked, blinking rapidly to make sure she hadn't imagined it.

Delphine said nothing, stepping into the shower and grabbing Cosima. She grabbed her arms, her legs and cupped her face and shoulders. Cosima was about to question it when she realized that Delphine was making sure she was there.

"It's me. I'm here," Cosima whispered. She tried to calm her voice, not wanting to scare Delphine. But she was scared. This wasn't Delphine. Delphine was strong and focused and never doubted anything, especially what she saw with her own eyes.

"I thought…" Delphine started, but couldn't finish. Her body trembled before the tears erupted. She used one hand to cover her eyes, crying loudly and uncontrollably. She cried so hard that she knelt down under the steaming water.

"Hey, hey, sit down," Cosima whispered, sitting behind her. She stretched her legs out, one on each side of Delphine and held her tightly from behind, rocking her gently.

"I thought you were another dream," Delphine sobbed, still covering her face.

"Another? You've dreamed of me?" Cosima blurted. Delphine turned her head, her eyes wide as if she didn't understand the question. Cosima knew instantly that Delphine was haunted by dreams of Cosima to the point that being asked about it felt like poking fun.

Cosima stared at Delphine, catching every detail. This woman wasn't the same woman she fell in love with. She wasn't the strong, independent woman. She wasn't the cold boss who had broken up with her and accepted her resignation. This was a woman who was haunted. Haunted by Cosima. She watched every last straight strand of hair bounce back to those playful curls she had fallen in love with, as if the shower were peeling away each and every layer of the fraud Delphine pretended to be.

Underneath the steamy shower, Cosima realized how young Delphine still was. She wasn't the same as Dr Leekie had been. She was young and afraid.

"Oh my God," Cosima finally realized. "It wasn't real."

"What?" Delphine asked, her eyes flickering back to the inquisitive expressions of Dr Cormier, not the frightened girl in the shower.

"It doesn't count. Our breakup."

"What are you talking about?" Delphine asked nervously.

"You never wanted to break up with me. You didn't want it to be over," Cosima realized. Delphine took in a ragged breath, biting her lower lip.

"How could I ever want it to be over?" Delphine answered honestly, her eyes locking onto Cosima's.

Not wanting to push things too quickly, Cosima raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I've ever seen you in the shower…"

"Is this another of the French stereotypes?" She frowned. "You know the joke about not shaving wasn't funny."

Cosima laughed. In their early relationship, she made the joke of saying she was suprised Delphine was completely shaved. Delphine had never heard the stereotype. Not only was she made, she spent the day researching it only to find that it was nothing more than a stereotype.

"I didn't mean it like that—"

"They say the same about people with dreadlocks," Delphine said defensively, crossing her arms and pouting.

"Trust me, your smell is all over my bedding."

"My smell?" Delphine screeched, making Cosima laugh. "I don't smell!" She said, rising to her feet.

"You don't stink. You smell. Like lilac and gardenia," Cosima smiled softly, stepping closer to Delphine. She nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She gasped at the touch. "Del, you're freezing!" She blurted.

"I'll be fine," Delphine lied.

"Yeah, I know."

"What does that mean?" She demanded.

"It means you're not going to work today," Cosima said, putting her hands on her hips.

"And how will you know? You quit," She reminded her, her thin lips turning into a disapproving straight line.

"Because I'm staying right here. I'm going to take care of you."


	5. Intervention

Delphine had slept nearly twelve hours since the shower. Cosima wanted to let her sleep, but she was worried. Delphine was never sick. Delphine was never tired. From an outsiders prospective, Cosima had often considered that Delphine seemed a clone more than Cosima. Cosima was sensitive and sick and sarcastic. Her mood influenced her behavior and despite her education, her decisions always stemmed from her heart.

Delphine was different. Delphine was stable and steady. You always knew how she would feel. You always knew how she'd react. In their relationship, Delphine had been the clone, letting Cosima play the wild card. Cosima chuckled, hating to admit how perfectly Dr Leekie had been in convincing her to do the job. She was a perfect monitor. She was perfect, period.

Now, she watched Delphine twitch and toss and turn. She slept restlessly but soundly. The sheets were soaked as Delphine soaked completely through the thin satin nightgown. Unsure what else to do, Cosima called in for reinforcements.

She left a sign on the door, afraid knocking would wake Delphine.

"Felix?" She whispered.

"I heard Delphine was sick. I had to see it," he admitted.

"And by it, he meant her hair," Sarah rolled her eyes.

"God, even sick and asleep, her hair is perfect. Lucky bitch," Felix smirked.

"It isn't just her hair. She's perfect," Cosima whispered, glancing at her love.

"Ali brought soup," Felix grinned.

"Be warned, she also brought sedatives."

"Sedatives? She's asleep," Cosima frowned.

"This will ensure she sleeps soundly," Alison chirped, coming up behind them with a cooler.

"I don't want her drugged," Cosima hissed. "I want... I want Delphine back."

"It's for the best," Alison whispered, pulling out a large needle.

"No!" Cosima raised her voice. Delphine whimpered, taking the attention away. She made a few pained whimpers, her hand grabbing at the void in front of her.

"Has she had a trauma?" Siobhan asked, entering the apartment with Kira.

"No, she did the damage," Sarah scoffed, still feeling protective of her sister.

"But she broke up with you to protect you," Felix whispered.

"So she said," Sarah glared at him.

"No, think about it," Siobhan started. "She had her back to the wall. She had no choice."

"Flight or fight," Alison whispered.

"Which is the basis for it."

Alison gently massaged Delphine's bare arm, giving her the sedative. "She needs the sleep," she whispered. The injection caused a soft yelp in Delphine, who jerked her arm but didn't wake.

"And we need to figure out how to help her," Siobhan chimed in.

"So, this entire time, Delphine's been the one struggling," Cosima whispered. "She's suffered and dealt with all this..."

"She might not have remembered the nightmares," Alison offered weakly.

"She might not even understand how she feels," Felix offered.

"And I rubbed Shay in her face," Cosima realized her eyes watery. "That was what I wanted. I wanted to hurt her," she sobbed, her lower lip quivering. She made a mad dash to the sink, leaning over and vomiting. Her body heaved as she emptied the contents of her stomach, overcome with guilt.

"This isn't your fault, Cos." Sarah said, offering her water.

"I don't believe you," she whispered, unable to look at Sarah. "You didn't see her in the shower..."

"What happened in the shower?" Felix asked, grabbing one of the juice boxes from her fridge and taking a sip from the thin straw.

"I didn't think anything of leaving her side-"

"-why would you?" Sarah demanded. Cosima sighed, giving her clone the stink eye. She knew Sarah's thoughts on it and she didn't care.

"She came in, her eyes were so wide. She didn't even look like herself. She was like an animal being hunted..."

"Poor thing," Alison pouted, studying her.

"Does she have any other friends? Any family?" Siobhan asked, moving closer to Delphine.

"Her family is all the way in France," she admitted. "She isn't exactly the most outgoing person," Cosima frowned.

"No wonder she took it so hard. You were her best friend, lover and her family," Felix offered, pushing Sarah when she rolled her eyes.

"Did Delphine do it to keep you safe?" Kira asked, tugging the hem of Cosima's dress. "Sometimes Mommy leaves me behind but I know that it isn't because she doesn't love me. She wants me to be safe." Cosima bent down, hugging the little girl as she tried not to cry.

"Bet you feel stupid now," Felix whispered to Sarah. Sarah said nothing, moving closer to Delphine who not stayed completely still.

Sarah touched Delphine's soft blonde curls, smiling softly. "Fe is right. Your hair is incredible," she muttered, offering a small smile.

The group took notice. For Sarah, that was the nicest thing she could muster. It wasn't a lie, she had blamed Delphine for things out of her control. If it weren't Delphine, Cosima would have been given another monitor. And honestly, Delphine had helped them more than any other monitor. And when she loved Cosima enough to give up touching her and holding her to keep her safe, the clones had all repaid her by not trusting her. Sarah was ashamed of all of them. "It's okay, Delphine," she whispered. "You don't have to always be the strong one. Believe me, this is the best family to be a part of. Let us be strong for you now, yeah?" She asked, wiping her eyes before anyone could notice the tears forming.

"What are you going to do, chicken?" Siobhan asked.

"I'm going to give her no choice but to be with me," Cosima vowed. "Being apart is killing both of us."


	6. Shay

The minute the voicemail picked up, Shay knew what was happening. She regretted telling Cosima. She was naive, thinking Cosima could feel the same. She had lashed out at her, but deep down, she was just a scared girl. When Cosima left, Shay wondered why she wouldn't want to stay by her side and hold her through the night?

Now that Cosima wasn't even answering her phone, Shay knew the answer.

Delphine.

What was it, she wondered, that made her so special. Sure, hazel eyes were nice and all, but Shay's eyes were an unusual shade of blue. Sure, both women had blonde hair, but Shay's was like strands of sunshine as opposed to Delphine's dusty blonde hair. And yes, the bitch was French and smart. But Shay had so many stories to tell. She was a free spirit, a gypsy. Didn't Cosima want to lay in a pile of blankets and just swap stories all day?

Delphine was kind of pretty, Shay thought. And clearly still loved Cosima. She rolled her eyes, thinking of them together. Realizing how perfect they looked together enraged her. No. This was not going to end this way.

At Delphine's apartment, Delphine moaned softly, one hand moving to her head. Even with Cosima's phone on silent, the constant buzz had Delphine on the edge of waking. Unwilling to let Delphine wake, Cosima snuck to the bathroom.

"Yeah?" She asked softly, trying to keep quiet.

"I've been trying to call..." Shay started.

"Nine missed calls. I've been busy."

"Come over, Cosima."

"I'm really swamped," she lied.

"I didn't ask," she said flatly. "I'll come to you."

"I'm not at my apartment, Shay."

"Delphine's? I'll come there."

"Shay-"

"We're going to see each other tonight. Either you come to me or I'll come there."

"I can't leave," Cosima whimpered, feeling torn over both options.

"I googled her address. I'll be over in twenty."

"Fuck," Cosima sighed when Shay hung up the phone.

Cosima paced Delphine's living room, glancing back to the partially opened doorway. Delphine was still sound asleep. _It's fine_ , she told herself. _I'll just break up with Shay and it'll be over before Delphine wakes up._ She convinced herself that Delphine would naturally believe they broke up when Cosima was at Shay's _. No harm done_ , she told herself. _No harm done._

"So where is the good Doctor?" Shay growled when she entered.

"She's asleep. Please, just keep it down," Cosima begged. "She's sick."

"I told you that bitch was demented."

"No, physically. She's ill."

"Karma," Shay sang.

"Shay. Listen-"

"No. You do not get to break up with me-" Shay paced the living room, inspecting everything. Her moving around caused Cosima to turn her back on the bedroom door. "Was any of it real, Cosima?"

"Of course," Cosima said, not hearing the door to the bedroom open softly. "Shay, you are so beautiful and the way you touched me..." Cosima sighed. "You know it was magnetic with us. We didn't have fights. We didn't have to work to keep it going-"

"And Delphine? That's work?" She asked, knowing Cosima hadn't noticed that behind her, Delphine was slowly approaching, as if in a trance.

"Yeah, you know, it is work." Cosima admitted. "I've hurt her and she's hurt me. Badly."

"Don't you ever think you're making a mistake?"

"Sometimes, yeah. I do wonder if Delphine and I are a mistake. If we'll just hurt one another until neither of us is the same,"Cosima admitted before she could stop herself.

From behind her, Delphine let out a pained breath, as if the words had physically knocked the wind out of her.

"Delphine, you're awake!" Cosima rushed to her side. Delphine stepped back, her hazel eyes wide. She began trembling, her eyes locked on Cosima so intently that she wasn't even blinking. "That isn't what you thought," Cosima tried.

"I think it's exactly what you thought," Shay added. Cosima glanced over, glaring with her side eye.

"You aren't helping," Cosima snapped. Shay shrugged, looking pleased with herself.

"If you don't mind, it's Tuesday night" Delphine said, her cold stare aimed at Shay.

"So?"

"The trash goes out on Tuesday. Why don't you go to the curb where you belong." Delphine turned, returning to the bedroom and slamming the door.

"That was kind of a double burn. I didn't know Delphine was so funny," Cosima chuckled. When she saw Shay's expression, she tried to regain composure. "That isn't the point," she mumbled. But she's right. You've got to go."

"She's going to break your heart," Shay promised before leaving.

"Del? She's gone. Can we talk about this?" Cosima knocked on the door. "Delphine?" She called when Delphine didn't immediately answer.

After a few minutes, the door swung open and Delphine blew past her. Her hair was in a perfect bun and she had a purple lace dress with leather boots and a matching leather jacket. She looked like a fashion model, but Cosima knew her better. The lace dress had a zipper than jammed and Delphine had been meaning to take to the tailer and those shoes hurt her feet. Delphine had just thrown clothes on in an attempt for a quick getaway.

"Delphine, stop!" Cosima cried, grabbing her arm.

"It was a mistake to come here," Delphine whispered.

"But-"

"You'll never see me again," she promised, grabbing her keys, still shaking.

"But-" Cosima whispered as Delphine stormed out. "But this is your house," she whispered.


	7. Finding Delphine

"Would you just think?" Sarah practically screamed, running a hand through her knotted hair.

"I don't know!" Cosima cried, wiping a free stray tears away. Her nose was red, her eyes were puffy. It wasn't more than one minute before she had to swipe a finger under her eyeglasses to wipe the fresh tears that were emerging.

"She's your bloody girlfriend!" Sarah screamed.

"Sarah, Sarah," Felix offered. "Delphine isn't an easy nut to crack. Let's stay calm."

"Stay calm? It's freezing out!" Alison interjected. "She's going to die of hypothermia if we don't find her."

"Not helping," Felix glared.

"Start from the beginning," Siobhan said, trying to stay calm. "Would she return to France?"

"No, her parents are both dead."

"Okay, any previous schools?"

"None worth returning to."

"And she wasn't at Dyad," Sarah offered.

"Or her favorite restaurant," Alison sighed.

"I've checked all the local hotels. No one has seen her," Felix added.

"She isn't the type to run from the problem," Cosima flopped on the couch, wiping fresh tears.

"There has to be a place. A memory. Something that mattered to her," Sarah paced nervously. She hated to admit it, but even she was worried for the doctor.

"Oh my God!" Cosima jumped up. "I need blankets. I think I know where she'd go."

"She's outside? It's freezing!" Alison reiterated but Cosima was already out the door.

It took nearly twenty minutes to drive back to campus. It was so cold that Cosima wasn't sure if she was hoping to find Delphine or hoping Delphine hadn't bared the cold for so long.

Cosima remembered that first day, that first moment. They had stolen bottles of wine and run away. How symbolic now, she realized, for Delphine to run away from the company she was already working for and run into the unknown with Cosima. Of course she'd return to that moment. That pivotal moment for Delphine when her entire life changed.

As the headlights on her car illuminated the stone fountain, she felt her heart sink. She didn't see Delphine. As she was putting the car in reverse, ready to go home she saw something move in the shadows. She stepped out of her car, realizing it was an empty bottle of wine rolling around on the ground.

She moved closer, recognizing the expensive label. It was the same brand as they had stolen. She knew she was at least close. She approached the back of the fountain and felt her heart crumple. Surrounded by an array of crumpled Eskimo Pie wrappers and two more bottles of the same wine. And there, behind the wall of it all, was Delphine. She looked lost, in a trance. She didn't even look up when Cosima approached. Her tiny body was curved into a ball and each breath showed in the cold night air.

"Delphine, it's freezing," Cosima whispered, stepping closer.

"I've felt worse today," Delphine said without glancing up.

"Talk to me," Cosima pleaded. Delphine stood up, giving one quickly glance at Cosima before attempting to move past her. When Delphine moved to the left, Cosima did the same. When Delphine moved to the right, Cosima did the same. When Delphine turned to go the other way around the fountain, Cosima raced to the other side, blocking her again.

"Enough!" Delphine snapped. "Since this is so much work for you, just leave!" She grabbed the bottle of wine, taking a large sip of it.

"For a doctor, you're being really stupid right now," Cosima whispered.

"Oh!" Delphine laughed in anger. "You know, we go in circles so often I can't keep track anymore, so I'll make this easy. If you're breaking up with me, we aren't together. And if this is an attempt to win me back, you're wasting your time. You're fragile, save your strength."

Cosima took one step away, knowing Delphine had enough alcohol that she'd buy it. Sure enough, Delphine turned her back, taking another swig of wine. Cosima took full advantage, grabbing Delphine and spinning her until they were face to face. She used one hand to slap the wine bottle from Delphine's hand. As the glass crashed against the cement, she held the back of Delphine's neck, pinning her so that Delphine couldn't push out of the passionate kiss. Delphine let one moan slip from her mouth, and Cosima inhaled it as her tongue pushed against Delphine's lower lip, tasting the wine on her kisses.

"Get in the car," Cosima panted.

"No!" Delphine cried out, her pride still wounded.

"You're freezing. I have blankets and the heater. Get in."

"I don't want to," she glanced down, unable to look at Cosima. The wound was still too fresh to handle much more.

"Five minutes," Cosima begged. Delphine sighed but went to the backseat of the car. Cosima slid into the drivers seat, quickly locking the car.

"Did you just put child locks on me?" Delphine demanded, rattling the door handle furiously.

"Yeah, so stop pulling. It won't open," Delphine warned. She slid her slender body from the front seat to the back of the car, joining Delphine.

"What are you doing?" Delphine demanded, her breathing quickening. She bit her lip nervously, which always made Cosima smile.

"Why did you go to school?"

"You're interviewing me for a job?" Delphine furrowed her brow, the ends of her sentence slurring in her inebriation.

"I regret teaching you sarcasm," Cosima frowned. "But you have so many degrees because you worked hard for them."

"What is your point?"

"Sometimes, when things are work, they offer the biggest payoff."

"Love is not the same as studying for a test," Delphine snapped.

"No, you're better than any job or any degree."

"Stop it," Delphine pleaded. Her voice was trembling and her eyes were brimming with tears. "Just unlock the car, Cosima. _S'il vous plaît_."

Hearing Delphine beg Cosima in French was almost enough to convince her, but she wasn't ready to give up. Not yet.

Instead, she ran her hand against Delphine's leg. The touch was so cold that she gasped. "You're freezing, baby" Cosima whispered, rubbing harder to try and warm her.

"I'll survive," Delphine whispered, her tone a small bit relaxed but not entirely. Cosima glanced down, suddenly aware of exactly how deep Delphine had been hurt. Their love was always so magnetic. One kiss. One touch. That's all it took. For Delphine to hold on so tightly to this denial, Cosima knew she was afraid of being hurt again.

"I'm so sorry. I invited her to break up with her," Cosima blurted. "She was calling so relentlessly and I just wanted you to sleep."

"You invited your girlfriend-"

"Ex-girlfriend," Cosima corrected quickly. Delphine raised an eyebrow, trying to hide how pleased she was that Cosima corrected her.

"You invited _Shay_ ," she spat her name as if she were garbage "...into my home so you didn't wake me? For a scientist, you sure are dumb sometimes," she threw Cosima's words back at her, crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry," Cosima pleaded. "I love you, Delphine."

"I should go," Delphine whispered, biting her lip to stop herself from admitting how much she loved Cosima.

"I'm not letting you go. Not yet."

"What are you going to do?" Delphine asked, her hazel eyes narrowing in on Cosima. Without warning, Cosima pushed three fingers inside Delphine without even pushing her panties to the side. Delphine cried out, the gentle scratching combined with the forceful thrusts taking her by surprise. "You're ... so... _intense_ ," she moaned, careful not to say rough. She didn't want Cosima to take it the wrong way and stop.

"You know what else is intense? My love for you," Cosima whispered, gently kissing the sensitive skin along Delphine's neck and collarbone. Delphine moaned softly, lost in the inebriation and the ecstasy of Cosima's touch. It didn't take long for her to hit her peak.

"Cos... I already-"

"I know. I didn't say I was going to stop at one," Cosima whispered. "I'm don't care how long it takes, I'm going to fuck you over and over until you're too exhausted to fight me or run off."

"And then?" Delphine panted breathlessly, another orgasm on the verge of exploding.

"And then I'm going to drive you home. And I'm going to cuddle the shit out of you."

"Is that a scientific unit of measurement now?" Delphine teased.

"I really regret teaching you sarcasm," Cosima scoffed, but wouldn't hide her smile. Delphine smiled back and suddenly, everything felt like it was falling back into place.


	8. Happy ever after

Delphine hovered over Cosima, kissing her collarbone. Cosima moaned softly, her one arm flopping across her face, covering her eyes. Delphine smiled, gently kissing the space between Cosima's breasts, causing Cosima to stir slightly. She lowered her head, kissing Cosima's bare stomach.

"Your hair tickles," Cosima muttered.

"She's awake," Delphine smiled, her face lighting up. "You slept nearly 10 hours."

"I thought you needed rest," she winked.

"Cheeky," Delphine rolled her eyes. "But you're right. I can still feel your fingers inside me," she closed her eyes, remembering how ruthless Cosima had been. Delphine still felt sore from the roughness, but she'd never admit that to Cosima. She knew Cosima would feel guilty and hold back. Although intense, the moment had been so honest and emotional for both of them. Delphine wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it in the future.

"I didn't want to let you go," she admitted. "Sometimes it feels like every time I get you near, you slip through my fingers."

"I'm sorry," Delphine said softly. "I haven't been a good girlfriend..."

"Wait, you think you're a bad girlfriend?" Cosima sat up. "You are a puppy."

"I wasn't honest from the beginning-"

"You didn't know what we would be..."

"I lied about your blood samples. About Kira-"

"You saved my life."

"I broke up with you-"

"We're working on that one," Cosima admitted.

"I threatened Shay," Delphine shook her head, ashamed at how vicious she had been.

"That one," Cosima leaned over to her "is actually pretty sexy."

"Threatening to slice her feet open?" Delphine raised an eyebrow.

"Knowing that regardless of where I work or who I'm with that you'd stop at absolutely nothing to keep me safe or exact revenge on those who hurt me... you're like my personal protector."

"Protecteur," Delphine whispered.

"God it sounds hotter in French," Cosima panted, sucking on Delphine's lower lip.

"Cosima," Delphine placed on hand on her chest. "I want to speak freely for a moment." She took a deep breath, trying to put into words how she felt. "We've spent so much of our time hiding things from the other, trying to keep the other safe. All it's done-"

"Is cause mistrust," Cosima realized. Delphine nodded.

"I don't want to lose you, Cosima. You're the one thing I cannot do without."

"You know I feel the same," Cosima placed Delphine's hand on her chest.

"We have to be on the same page. We have to be honest with each other about absolutely everything."

"You and me against the world," Cosima smiled.

"Promise me," Delphine's hazel eyes locked into Cosima's. Even without touching, they both felt the intensity of the moment. It was far more intimate than sex had ever been between the two. They had spent so much time trying to protect the other that they had forgotten that they were supposed to be a team.

"In the honor of absolute honesty, I need to get something off my chest."

"Yeah, of course," Delphine touched her dreadlocks softly. "Tell me."

"I don't want to waste any more time. I'm so in love with you, Del. I don't want to go slow. I don't want to give it time. I want you to be my girlfriend. Starting now. Officially."

Delphine bit her lower lip, smiling. "You're sure that I'm what you want?" She asks. "You don't want to see who you meet on Sapphire?" She raised her eyebrow.

"You knew about the dating website?" Cosima's eyes widened so much that Delphine laughed.

"I told you before, I can find you when it's important."

"That was important?" Cosima whispered.

"If it involves my _girlfriend_ , it's always important," Delphine purred, pulling Cosima against her and into a heated kiss.


End file.
